5 Mistakes Families Make in Estate Planning, and How to Avoid Them

Estate planning is one of those things people know they should do but, too often, life gets in the way. Even the families who do get their documents in order can unknowingly set themselves up for confusion, conflict, or missed opportunities down the line.

As someone who works with families of all shapes and sizes—blended families, single parents, business owners, and people with complicated assets—I’ve seen the same mistakes pop up again and again.

The good news? They’re completely avoidable once you know what to look out for.

Mistake 1: Not Having a Plan at All

Let’s start with the most obvious and most common one: doing nothing.

You might assume estate planning is only for people with significant wealth or complex investments. Or maybe the idea of planning for the end of your life feels too overwhelming to tackle.

But here’s the reality: If you don’t have a plan, the state has one for you—and it’s probably not what you want.

When you die without a Will or Trust, your estate enters intestate probate. That means a court decides who inherits what, how long it takes, and how much it costs. Your spouse, your kids, your partner—none of them are guaranteed protection without a plan in place.

Avoid it: Start with a basic estate plan. Even a simple Will can make a huge difference in protecting your loved ones from unnecessary stress and delays.

Mistake 2: Relying on Outdated Documents

Estate plans aren’t “set it and forget it” documents. Life changes—and your plan should too.

One client I worked with had a Will from 1999 that still named her ex-husband as the executor. Another had created a Trust before acquiring significant real estate, but never added the new properties to it.

These kinds of oversights are more common than you’d think. Here is a list for when to update your documents:

• Got married or divorced
• Had children (or grandchildren)
• Bought or sold a home
• Started or sold a business
• Moved to a new state
• Had a change in financial circumstances
• Experienced a falling out with someone listed in your plan
  

Avoid it: Review your estate plan every 3–5 years, or after any major life event. Keep your documents aligned with your current wishes and assets.

Mistake 3: Naming the Wrong People

Choosing who will manage your estate, care for your children, or make decisions on your behalf is one of the most personal parts of estate planning. But sometimes people name someone out of obligation, not wisdom.

Maybe it’s your oldest child, even though they’re financially irresponsible. Or your sibling, who lives across the country and has no idea what’s going on in your life. These choices may feel “right” on paper—but they can lead to big problems down the line.

Here’s what can go wrong:

• A named executor struggles with paperwork or deadlines
• A guardian doesn’t align with your parenting style
• A power of attorney lacks the confidence to make decisions under pressure
  

Ask yourself:

• Does this person have good judgment?
• Are they organized and reliable?
• Will they be emotionally available if something happens to me?
  

Avoid it: Choose the right people, not just the expected ones. And don’t be afraid to name alternates if your first choice becomes unavailable.

Mistake 4: Ignoring Tax Consequences

Estate planning isn’t just about who gets what—it’s also about how they get it.

Taxes can eat away at inheritances if things aren’t structured properly. For example, certain assets may trigger capital gains taxes if sold by a beneficiary. Others—like traditional IRAs—come with income tax obligations when inherited.

This doesn’t mean you need to become a tax expert. But understanding the basics (or working with someone who does) can help you make smarter decisions.

Avoid it: Discuss potential tax impacts as part of your planning. Trusts, charitable strategies, and careful beneficiary designations can all help reduce the burden.

Mistake 5: Not Communicating Your Plan

You’ve done the hard work of getting your estate plan in place. But no one knows about it. Or worse—everyone thinks they know, and they each have a different version of the story.

Lack of communication is one of the leading causes of family conflict after someone passes away.

You don’t have to share every detail, but it helps to:

• Let your loved ones know a plan exists
• Tell them where to find key documents
• Explain the reasons behind major decisions (like unequal distributions or naming specific people in key roles)
  

Avoid it: Communication builds trust—and prevents misunderstandings. Give your family the gift of clarity.

Conclusion: Awareness Is the First Step to Getting It Right

Estate planning doesn’t have to be perfect. But it does have to be thoughtful.

Avoiding these common mistakes isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about asking the right questions and staying engaged with your plan as your life evolves.

Whether you’re just getting started or dusting off an old folder, take a moment to reflect: Is your plan current, clear, and capable of doing what you need it to do?

That’s where peace of mind begins. Take that first step and schedule a call with estate planning attorney Michael Anastasio.