Five People Who Should Never Be Your Power of Attorney

When it comes to the estate planning process, one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is who you appoint as your Power of Attorney (POA). 

This person may one day manage your finances, make legal decisions on your behalf, or even determine your medical care. 

It’s a role that requires trust, judgment, and an unshakable sense of responsibility.

Unfortunately, many people assign Power of Attorney based on convenience or emotion rather than qualification. They choose the closest relative, the eldest child, or the friend who "means well", and that choice can lead to financial disaster, legal complications, and long-term damage to your family relationships. In the worst cases, it can even result in exploitation or abuse.

Before you finalize your estate plan, make sure you know who not to pick.

What a Power of Attorney Actually Does

Many people misunderstand what a Power of Attorney really entails. A POA is not just a backup plan for emergencies, it’s a legal tool that gives someone else the right to make decisions as if they were you.

Depending on how the document is written, a POA can grant broad authority over:

• Bank accounts and investment decisions
• Real estate transactions
• Healthcare and end-of-life care decisions
• Legal matters and contracts
• Tax filings and government benefits
  

There are two main types of POA:

• Durable Power of Attorney for Finances: Used to manage your financial affairs.
• Healthcare Power of Attorney (or Healthcare Proxy): Used to make medical decisions if you're incapacitated.
  

Because these roles carry significant power, your choice must be deliberate and well-informed. So, who should never be your POA?

Five People Who Could Be a Risky Choice

1. Someone Who Struggles With Money

It may seem obvious, but it’s astonishing how often people assign POA to someone with a history of financial instability. If your chosen agent has declared bankruptcy, lives paycheck to paycheck, or regularly borrows money from family members, they are likely not the right person to manage your accounts and investments.

Why it’s risky: Even with the best intentions, someone who mismanages their own money is likely to make poor decisions with yours, or worse, see your finances as a solution to their problems.

2. A Person Who Doesn’t Follow Instructions

Being a POA is not about what someone thinks is best, it’s about what you want. If someone in your life has a history of ignoring boundaries, questioning your decisions, or doing things their own way, they may not respect the obligations outlined in your POA document.

Why it’s risky: A POA must carry out your wishes exactly as specified. If they impose their personal beliefs or ignore your stated preferences, they could trigger family conflict or even legal battles.

3. Someone Easily Manipulated or Controlled

Not all dangers come from ill intentions. Sometimes, the person you choose is too trusting or too easily influenced by others. This becomes particularly dangerous if there are other people in your life with strong opinions, or financial incentives, regarding your care or assets.

Why it’s risky: A weak-willed or conflict-averse agent may be swayed by pressure from siblings, in-laws, or even your own children. This can lead to decisions that go against your best interests or cause irreversible harm to your estate plan.

4. A Person With a History of Addiction or Mental Health Issues

This is a difficult category to talk about, especially when it involves someone you love. But if your potential POA has struggled with addiction, untreated mental illness, or erratic behavior, you need to be extremely cautious.

Why it’s risky: even if they are in recovery, the stress and responsibility of serving as POA can be triggering. A relapse or emotional breakdown at a critical time can lead to poor decisions, missed deadlines, or financial loss.

5. Someone Who Lives Far Away and Isn’t Accessible

In our digital world, distance may seem irrelevant, but when it comes to acting as Power of Attorney, geography matters more than most people think. A POA may need to appear in person at banks, hospitals, or courtrooms. If they live in another state or country, those delays can cost you.

Why it’s risky: Time-sensitive decisions, like medical treatments or financial withdrawals, can’t always wait for someone to catch a flight. An absent POA can leave you vulnerable or create unnecessary red tape.

How to Choose the Right Power of Attorney

Once you’ve ruled out the wrong people, it’s time to focus on who is right for the role. Here’s what to look for:

Look for:

• Reliability: They follow through on commitments, return calls, and handle responsibility well.
• Trustworthiness: You believe they would never misuse their position or act in self-interest.
• Calm Under Pressure: They can handle emergencies and make decisions when others panic.
• Good Communication: They can clearly convey your wishes to doctors, lawyers, or family members.
• Some Legal or Financial Literacy: They don’t need to be a professional, but basic comfort with documents and numbers helps.
  

Also consider naming a backup (or “successor agent”) in your POA document in case your first choice becomes unavailable.

What Happens If You Choose the Wrong Person?

Imagine this: You’ve become unable to speak for yourself after a medical emergency. Your Power of Attorney, someone you thought you could trust, is now in charge of your finances, your care, and your future.

At first, no one notices the small withdrawals. Then come the missed payments. The delayed decisions. The unexplained transactions. Your family starts asking questions, but without legal authority, their hands are tied. Eventually, it spirals into a legal mess, court proceedings, frozen accounts, and emotional strain that fractures relationships.

This is the reality for many who unknowingly hand the reins to someone unprepared, or unfit, for the responsibility. The cost isn’t just financial. It’s your dignity, your security, and your peace of mind.

Conclusion: Power of Attorney Should Be a Shield, Not a Sword

Your Power of Attorney holds the key to your future when you can no longer speak for yourself. It’s not just a formality, it’s a safeguard that can either protect your legacy or unravel it.

The right person in this role will honor your wishes, manage your affairs with care, and keep your loved ones out of conflict. The wrong person? They could turn your estate plan into a cautionary tale.

Take the time to evaluate your choices carefully, and don’t be afraid to update your POA document if your current agent no longer fits the bill. After all, your future deserves more than convenience, it deserves someone you trust with everything. If you’re unsure where to start, schedule a free call with Michael Anastasio to get expert guidance tailored to your situation.